startinginanewcity

Well being as this is my first blog I should introduce myself.  I’ve been called a variety of names, but for all intensive purposes I’ll go with Alanna here. I idolize great thinkers and even more great doers.  I find that at times my life has those standstill moments where I don’t really have a direction.  I always want what I can’t have, and when I get it, even if I still want it. I always find a way to mess it up.  Hence problem number one in this new city of mine.  My ex-finance lives here.  You would think that in moving to a large city I wouldn’t feel as close to him as I did in our college town, but nevertheless everything still reminds me of him.  I am 23 years old and spent my college career at his side.  Two weeks ago he told me he still loved me.Now, well now he’s off on another tangent of  self-love.  Which is fine and dandy, except for he misses the point that two people can love him.  Eh, oh well enough of that.   Oh yeah, this city. it’s different…..  I once fought not to move here.  I suppose it’s a lesson learned:  Not to be stubborn and let God’s plan take you where it will take you.  I’ve been leaning towards that more and more.  I just wish I could be sure what I think is right, truly is.Right now I’m living in a big city, took a big corporate job, and I feel at times if it is all a big mistake.  I wonder if I will be able to deal with living near the one that has my heart; if he will ever give me another chance not to mess it up.  

Most of all I wonder how taking this corporate job is going to affect my spirit.  I like money, but I don’t love it.  I have a lot of love and passion for many things.  Animals, children, writing, love itself, however money I realize is not as important as I once thought.That’s what happens when your down to your last $200.

Until then,Alanna    

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